The Shadow In Your Eyes
by Maeve Morgan
Summary: Post 12x19. After Maggie's conversation with Riggs, Meredith worries Owen is going dark and twisty and decides she needs to have a conversation with him about all that's been happening lately. MereOwen friendship.
**Disclaimer:** Grey's Anatomy, its characters and universe belong to Shonda Rhimes and ABC. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this TV show and personal pleasure.

A.N.: The Owen/Riggs situation has been aggravating me with the last few episodes, and I've finally figured out why, or rather, how to put it down into words. This happens immediately after the end of 12x19.

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 **The Shadow In Your Eyes**

Maggie had a thoughtful frown on her face as she got into the car. She was still digesting everything Nathan Riggs had told her just now, and adding it up to what Meredith had said earlier about him and Owen Hunt.

"You okay?" Meredith asked from beside her, as she sat behind the wheel.

"Yeah," her sister replied, her eyes still far away for a moment longer. As Meredith put the car into drive and got out of the parking lot, Maggie then turned to her and said, "I just talked to Riggs on my way out, he needed to clear something about a patient and I asked him about Hunt's sister and what he'd told you."

"You did?" Meredith replied, glancing at her with raised eyebrows while still keeping her eyes on the road. "Well, what did he say?"

"He said he didn't lie," Maggie said in a sigh. "And I believe him. He was just trying to keep private the worst thing he'd ever done, and honestly I don't blame him. Who wants to tell their biggest mistake to someone you barely know? Someone you respect and want to get along with?" She paused for a moment before she said softly, "Who'd want to keep reliving it over and over again?"

Meredith watched her from the corner of her eye as Maggie then just rested back on her seat and looked out the window. "So you think he's a good guy," she said, nearly a question, but really a statement. "Despite everything Owen says and everything that happened, you like Riggs? You think he's a good guy."

"I think he's a good guy and maybe he's just like every other guy I've ever known," Maggie turned to her, and the frown had cleared from her face and she now just looked thoughtful. "He made a mistake, and the price for that was high. But he's not evil, he's a good person and a good surgeon. I just don't know if Hunt will ever be able to see that. To him, he's the guy who screwed over his sister and then he lost her."

Meredith raised an eyebrow thoughtfully at what she said. The rest of the drive was spent in companionable silence. Even though Maggie was usually a talker tonight she felt too tired to talk about anything anymore, and Meredith greatly enjoyed it. But she also couldn't help thinking about some things and when they pulled into the driveway of the house, she'd made a decision.

"Hey, do you mind giving the kids dinner and keeping them company for a while?" The blonde asked. "I just need to stop by someplace real quick."

"Yeah, sure," Maggie said at once, although she frowned a little at the sudden request. "Do you need anything? What's going on?"

"I promise I won't be long," Meredith reiterated. "I'll tell you about it when I get back."

"Okay," Maggie nodded and accepted this. She'd come a long way, learning that she had a sister and how to deal with said sister, and she was learning not to push Meredith unnecessarily. She gave her a smile as she got out of the car and walked towards the house.

Meredith then put the car in reverse and was back in the streets. She followed a familiar path, one that still brought a pang to her heart whenever she got on it, even though nowadays there wasn't much reason for her to go to that part of town. Soon she came up the hill and saw the lights on inside the glass house, the view of the city in the background. But she ignored the driveway and veered off to the right. The headlights of the car illuminated the trailer parked there.

As she closed the door of the car, a familiar voice called out, "Meredith?" She looked up into Owen's rather confused face as he came out of the trailer and onto the wooden deck. "What's going on? What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," she said, without preamble as she stood on the grass below him. "We need to talk about Riggs."

"Why? What did he do?" He asked as he came down the steps, his face going from confused to angry.

"He made a mistake," she continued, and she could see he didn't understand what she was talking about. "He made a mistake, a huge mistake, but you can't keep punishing him for it forever. He's already punished himself enough, and more importantly I don't think you will survive if you don't let this go."

"Meredith," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose, and some of his anger gave way to frustration. "I don't want to talk about this right now. This is not a good time."

"When is it ever a good time?" She countered, firmly yet calmly. "Trust me, there will never be a good time, and if you don't deal with this now, sooner or later it's going to blow up in your face and take you down. And I can't let this happen. I made a promise that I would look after you."

He looked sharply at her then, his blue eyes wide and rather shocked at what she'd said. He knew exactly what she was referring to; he just couldn't believe she'd bring this up right now.

"The day she left, Cristina made me promise her that I would look after you, that I wouldn't let you get all dark and twisty," Meredith continued, ignoring Owen's pained expression, because she knew he needed to hear this. "I didn't know what exactly she was talking about; I just thought she was referring to your past struggles with PTSD and that her leaving would be hard on you. But recently I asked her about it—"

"You talked to her about me?" He interrupted her, surprised. Although the moment the words were out of his mouth he knew he shouldn't have been surprised at all.

"Of course I did," Meredith replied, looking pointedly at him. "We text every day and FaceTime at least once a week. And I tell her everything."

"So she knows everything about Riggs?" Owen asked, his voice quiet now. "About Amelia?"

"She does," she nodded, her voice soft now. She paused for a moment, but it wasn't long before she kept on, firm now in why she'd come here. "And she's worried about you and how you're taking this whole thing with Riggs. She thinks— _we_ think you're going dark and twisty."

They paused and stared at each other for a moment. Owen's eyes softened as he looked at Meredith and he could see real worry in her eyes. "Meredith, I appreciate your worry, but I can assure you I'm not going dark and twisty."

"Can you? Are you sure?" Meredith retorted, her face hard as she kept staring at him. "Because I know dark and twisty when I see it. You can't handle Riggs at the hospital and you're drinking yourself into a stupor from what Amelia says. That sounds like a dark and twisty road to me."

He closed his eyes and grimaced at what she said. He could see why she was thinking all of that, but he didn't agree with her. "You know what he did, I told you that," he said. "So you can understand why I can't stand being around him at the hospital, why I can't look at him, why I can't trust him and why this is so hard on me."

"I do," Meredith agreed with him. "And when I think of that, do you know what I remember? How I wanted to kill you when you told me you had cheated on Cristina. Do you know how much I hated you then? How hard it was for me to walk those halls and scrub in with you? To see your face every day when I knew how much pain you had put her through?"

"Meredith… I know, that was terrible, but it's not the same," he argued as his face twisted in pain at her words. "You can't say that what happened with me and Cristina was the same as Riggs and Megan."

"I can't," Meredith agreed with him, nodding at him. "But you can't say you understand either. I know that because for as close to Cristina as I was, I didn't understand everything that happened between you two. And you know the difference between the two of you and the two of them? When Cristina left you, she didn't die. That's it. She almost did, we almost did on that plane crash and that's why she left for the Mayo Clinic, but before that she wanted to leave Seattle because of you."

Owen just stared at her, taking in all that she had said and all the memories and the pain it brought back to the surface. Those were dark days in his life and he never wanted to relive them again.

"I think you can't stand Riggs here not just because of what happened to your sister," Meredith continued, relentless because she always said what needed to be said, no matter how hard it was to say or to hear it. "You can't stand him because he reminds you of a part of yourself that you don't like. Owen, he messed up big, he did, and I'm not saying he didn't. But you need to find a way to forgive him or _you_ won't survive this."

"Meredith…" he said, shaking his head. He was at a loss of words. He wanted to argue with her, but he didn't know how.

"He's a guy who screwed up. It doesn't mean he's a bad person or that he's a bad surgeon, and he deserves a second chance," Meredith kept on. "You did, and now so does he."

Owen looked back to her face, into her eyes. And just then, Bailey's voice came to him, as he remembered what she once told him, regarding his own cheating. _You did a terrible thing; it doesn't mean you're a terrible person._

"You're right," he finally said, his voice rather hoarse now. His blue eyes seemed clearer than a moment before, as he admitted all of this to himself and to Meredith. "You're right. I don't like being reminded of of what I did and how I hurt Cristina, and when I see Riggs I'm reminded of both my sister and of what I did to Cristina. That's why I can't stand him."

"Okay," Meredith nodded at him, surprised that he was admitting to it but hopeful this was the first step to make things better.

"But how do I do this?" He asked, and he seemed so helpless as he posed the question. "How do I forgive him for something like this?"

"You need to work on it. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. But this is a start. And if you need help, you got me, then," Meredith replied at once, a tentative smile on her face. She stepped up and gave him a hug, and Owen fiercely returned it.

"Also, fix things with Amelia," Meredith said as she drew back from the hug. "The two of you care for each other and life— _life_ is too short not to spend it with those we care for because of all this crap. We both know that, and she knows that too."

He smiled at her then, a tender and rather bittersweet smile. "I know, but I've been thinking about it and maybe she's right, I'm not good for her right now," he said. "She has her own struggles, and she doesn't need me adding up to her problems and worries."

"Then work on it," Meredith replied, shrugging her shoulders. "You need to get back to your feet. You've been living in this trailer ever since what, you and Cristina split up? I don't even live in the house anymore, there are other people living there and you're over here by yourself. Get yourself a house, get some normal back to your life."

He laughed then, and he had to admit she was right. In a way, his life had been stuck ever since he'd split with Cristina, and then when she left and he still hadn't built it back up. Maybe Meredith was right, maybe it was time to put the past away and start living again. Maybe Amelia was right about him. Maybe he could give up drinking. After all, what good had it ever done him?

Owen sat down on the porch and Meredith joined them, and he started talking about all the maybes that were going through his head with her. He was glad she was by his side and that she was pushing him to get better. They'd both been through so much in their rather short life. Hopefully this just another chapter and they'd get through to the other side.

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A.N.: In Jungian psychology, there's a concept called shadow, and it's about the unconscious aspects of one's personality and that you project and recognize in another person. Basically, when you hate someone and you can't really tell why, it's usually because you're projecting and recognizing an undesirable, dark side of your own personality in that person. I think this is what's happening with Owen and Riggs, and I just used Meredith here to tell Owen everything that I would tell him, if I could. Seriously, the fact that he still lives in that trailer annoys me to no end. I mean, even Alex has a house!


End file.
